Not My Daughter

Not My Daughter by Barbara Delinsky

Three bright, college bound teens make a pact to become pregnant and have babies.  News of the pact is quickly leaked by one of the friends.  The community's anger and disappointment is soon turned on one of the mothers......also the principal of the highschool.  The mother having been pregnant herself at seventeen but still making a successful life.

The story drew me in when I wondered, 'What the heck were they thinking?"  And then......pft, what they were thinking was never really explained.  The girls decided after a summer of babysitting that they, as mature 17 year old girls, could be better mothers than the ones they worked for.  Also it seemed so fun to have something of your own.  I would like to offer up that a kitten would have been a better choice.

The book had its points.  The mothers did question their culpability in the situation, wondering if they had parented wrong.  And as far as the book describes, they probably didn't, but it is a question asked by most parents.  It was just a foolish pact between the girls.  Once the gossip mill started there were some hard times.  It described fairly well what it can be like in a small town where your business is everyone elses.  The maturity of the girls seemed to be on target.  They were ridiculous fools.  And even though Delinsky showed this........I was still more than irked.  The girls were idiots.  They never had a good reason for doing something SO life changing.  Beyond the passing mention of adoption or abortion, the options were never really given any creedence.  The main teen Lily said more than once that she didn't want the father in the picture because she wanted the baby to be 'hers'.  It made me so violently angry that I wanted to poke her in the eye.  So self centered and immature I wanted the community to rip her to shreds.  By the end.....probably the worst part........the whole package is tied up in a snappy little bow.  The babies are all born healthy.  All of the parents accept the babies and their daughters.  The girls live at home and get taken care of by their parents.  I'm not saying that that situation isn't probably true to life at times......I just didn't like it.

Rating 2  Okay, I wanted somewhere in the book to have better options or to show the struggle.....or to at least show someone with enough maturity to say 'hey what's best for the poor baby?'. 
Rating PG 13 Teen pregnancy, subject of abortion, sex between an unmarried adult couple, teen sex

The Council of Dads

The Council of Dads by Bruce Feiler

New York Times Best Selling Author Bruce Feiler is known for his books on walking.  'Walking the Bible' even being turned into a PBS documentary.  His livelyhood having very much to do with walking.  Then an astonishing blow.  A cancerous tumor on his femur.  Not only could he lose his leg, his ability to walk, his livelyhood, Bruce could lose his life.  As the father of 3 year old twins he was heartbroken.

This book is Bruce's attempt at making a safety net if he should succumb to the cancer.  He gathered men representing stages of his life and characteristics that he wanted his girls to know about him if he could not be with them.  Fantastic idea.

I found myself interested more in the medical aspect of the book and his day to day life with his wife and children.  The Council of Dads was a great idea and the men had wonderful ideas about what they would do and say for the girls.  But somehow I found myself not wanting to have anything to do with the council.  Bruce seemed like a great father.  I resented the fact that he might die and leave his wife and daughters.  I didn't want him to die and I didn't like that he was making any kind of arrangements should events turn in that direction.  I'm not saying he shouldn't have because as a good father he was doing something awesome for his daughter's future.  I just didn't want him to die and I refused to be party to his planning for a dim future......so there.

At one point he and his wife go to visit the place where he will someday be buried.  I think this was the saddest part for me.  He writes........."Tears were streaming down our cheeks, salt trickling into our mouths.  The rain was matting our hair. My crutches tumbled to the ground. And in the darkened cathedral of  a Bonaventure thundershower, we clung to each other, pressed our foreheads together, and kissed on the land where we would one day rest forever. "

Rating 4  Great writing, good idea, smart articulate men.
Rating G  Clean but a grave situation. 

Standing For Something

Standing for Something by Gordon B. Hinckley

This is not a first time read for me. If this book were ever timely when first published, is now extremely timely. President Hinckley lays out the road less traveled. A road that he professes can save humanity if we will all begin the journey in our own lives and homes. Only can we change the world if we start with ourselves.
Although written by the former President of the LDS church, the book is one that should hold great value for all Judeo/Christian sects. Hinckley simply lays out ten virtues that he believes should be our ground work. These virtues may seem to many of us, now lay by the way side in modern society. The ten virtues are love, honesty, morality, civility, learning, forgiveness and mercy, thrift and industry, gratitude, optimism, and finally faith. He goes on to talk of the guardians of these virtues which are marriage and the family. Hinckley has it right when he says that 'we can save our nation by saving our homes'.
Standing for Something is uplifting although it speaks of serious topics and brings to mind our duty to make life better in a time where virtue and morality seem to be quickly fading from our forethought's.
I would recommend this book to anyone whether LDS or not. I didn't feel like any religious sect was at the forefront, only basic Christian principles.
Rating 5 I spent a lot of time underlining thoughts since this was not my first reading.
Rating G

Maybe Baby

Maybe Baby by Tenaya Darlington

The blurb on the front said, "Made me laugh out loud....". I did not laugh out loud. Just so you know I don't think the book was so funny.

Judy and Rusty have three grown children and a depressing life. They come home to beer and T.V. They do not interact. The three children have split and are now estranged from their parents. #1 Henry left to join a rock band. #2 Carson is suspiciously fem and leaves as it is becoming more obvious. #3 Gretchen goes to college, majors in women's studies while her parents presume she is majoring in something else. She is enlightened and breaks off contact with her parents.

Out of the blue, Gretchen calls to say that she is pregnant. She is living with a performance art, long haired, unitard wearing guy named Ray. Ray and Gretchen have joined a community in which the children are raised in a gender neutral manner. When the baby is born, only Ray and Gretchen will know the sex. The baby will be dressed in black. Said baby will have blobs of foam to play with so that he/she will not be repressed or brainwashed by gender expectation. If Judy and Rusty want to have any part in He/She's life, they will cooperate with the parenting theory.

In the beginning I did NOT like the characters. They were sad and living without meaning. Judy and Rusty had parented to the best of their ability and their children hated them for it. The children were experimenting with life at an age where they should have known where they were going.

Ray's parent's, or rather mother and boyfriend seems to be open minded (read.....living a pointless life but in an acceptable manner because they were cooler). Ray still doesn't like them. What is a parent to do? It seems you can never make the kids happy.

By the time baby arrives things are changing. Rusty and Judy have begun to morph into living breathing people with feelings that don't feel gray and black and brown and ugly. They have begun to see the ways that they can change and repent of their past........although their past was only lived without understanding of the damage they were doing. I began to see a bright spot.

The family reunites and love and understanding seem to bloom from the desert of their former lives together. They love each other. Judy and Rusty, even though at an age where most people are set in their ways, are able to make some life altering changes. It was surprising and beautiful. Can it happen for other people? I don't know. But it gives hope that we can all see the importance of family and love and relationships and do what we can to foster them and keep them alive.....even if that means admitting we were wrong to things we didn't know were wrong when they happened.

Rating 4 Didn't realize I was going to like it as much as I did.

Rating PG 13 Sex and some language

To A Child Love Is Spelled T-I-M-E

To a Child LOVE is Spelled T-I-M-E by Mac Anderson & Lance Wubbles

Super short read, which I will probably pick up now and again just to keep me focused on being the right kind of mom. Anderson and Wubbles have compiled great thoughts on parenting along with some fabulous quotes. As I was reading it, I immediately had it pointed out to me that no matter how tired or hurried I am I need to give time to my children. So I let the baby fall asleep on my bare stomach as he is prone to desire, and I read the whole book. Then I promptly got up this morning to read to one of the other little ones.

A favorite quote: "Our greatest danger in life is in permitting the urgent things to crowd out the important. -Charels E. Hummel

I was reminded over and over where to keep my focus. I think I will keep this next to my bed to read frequently. Topics range from responsibility, time, love, listening, marriage relationship, traditions, and discipline.

Quote: "At every step the child should be allowed to meet the real experiences of life; the thorns should never be plucked from his rose." -Ellen Key

Rating 5

Rating G