The Intorvert Advantage By Marti Olsen Laney Psy.D.Well I'm here to establish myself as an innie in a world of outies. Yes my belly button is inverted but that's not so much what I mean. I have an introverted personality. This is not news to me but it may be t0 you. I have never felt weird or different or like there is something wrong with me although I have been called stuck up, distant, quiet, shy, rude, conceited, indifferent, the list goes on.
I just picked up this book that has been recommended to me various times. It's about introverted personalities and their difference from extroversion. Extroversion is the most common personality 3 to 1. Most of the world is geared towards extroversion.Jason always says that I hate people. In fact I have probably said the same thing. What is really hate is groups of people. I can tolerate a few very close friends (like 2) and still feel comfortable. After the group spills over about three people I get anxious and quiet and stop talking. Apparently this doesn't sit well with the extroverts.
Introversion versus extroversion has more to do with how each of us regains our energy. Extroverts like to socialize and do exciting things, go out with lots of friends, be with people most of their down time. They expend energy. Introverts need to recharge with alone time, quiet time or time spent with a select few. They conserve energy.
I laughed my way through the book because even though I feel normal and I like my personality trait, I didn't realize that there were many others that felt the same way. I took the quiz, along with Bob, Superman and Princess Mimsy. I am an extreme introvert. The only extrovert tendencies that I scored were testing well, and I don't blank out too often when speaking. Bob is an extreme introvert. Superman is an extreme extrovert (he gets all of his people time teaching, traveling the state, playing ball, and at work). Princess Mimsy is also an extreme extrovert. She would love to have groups of people at our house all of the time. She is unfazed by social conversation and chit chat.
Besides introversion I am also left brained, shy, and sensitive. I know many people think shy and introvert mean the same thing but they don't. There are shy extroverts (too bad for them!). Shyness has more to do with you thinking about other people thinking negatively about you. Sensitivity runs a large gamut.....sound, light, noise, movement, smell, intuition, emotion, weather, temperature.Also sometimes my short term memory is blitzed if I am nervous when hearing something but I have great long term memory and can remember being as young as 1 year old. My testing is not too bad such as multiple choice or essay (many introverts have short term memory issues because of being overwhelmed and have problems with multiple choice testing) because I can usually recall things that I see.....somewhat photographic memory.
I am protective of my quality and quantity time with loved ones. I prefer to be with just one or two friends having meaningful time or conversation. I am Nazi about my alone time with Superman. I do not like it interrupted or sacrificed to other things. I love time spent with just my family. By the end of the day or when I feel incredibly taxed by external events I need to be alone or with just one person. I usually find myself taking a lot of baths and ripping through books when I am highly anxious. It is the way I zone out.
I think many people could probably recognize that I may have introverted tendencies. Lots of people don't believe me when I say that I am shy. And I don't think that I am seen as sensitive. I have learned fairly well in the last 13 years to live in an extrovert world. I can act like an extrovert if I have to, I just don't FEEL like one. I can teach a group, run a convention, be the boss, talk on the phone, go to large gathering. I may get grouchy after a prolonged time though because feeling anxious will eventually lead to that. I keep my sensitivity to myself because as an introvert I do not like being emotional or sharing intuition with many.
So if you find me curled up with a book, not making idle chit chat, or curled up with a book.....I still like you, but you might have to approach first.
My Innie tendencies!.........................
*When I need rest I like time alone or with one or two people. No groups!
* People think I am quiet, aloof, stuck up .......etc .
* I like to share special occasions with one person or a few close friends. No big parties!
* I notice detail.
* I can feel tension between others easily.
* If I say I will do something I will do it. (I thought more people were like this! I was surprised to find out that they aren't.)
* I feel anxious about deadlines or upcoming events. I lose sleep easily.
* I want to go away and zone out when I am overwhelmed.
* I like to watch activities before I join. I have to scope everything out and will generally stand back unless invited. I will almost NEVER invite myself or join without recognition from the group.
* I form lasting relationships.......but with only a few people. I have an easy time letting go of friends or acquaintances that don't take time to understand or like my personality. Because I am sensitive I take it pretty hard but I don 't chase down interaction......probably appears that I am aloof and don't care. In fact I've had that mentioned to me, but I just read a book and it gets all better :)
* I don't like interrupting. This has a lot to do with why I will not make idle social calls (drop by) and why I hate calling people on the telephone.
* I do not like overstimulating environments. I don't like going out on holidays where many others are out. I do not like crowded theaters where you have to sit next to others you don't know. I do not like large parties or dances. Do I go to these things? Yes. I don't like anticipating them but once I am there I'm okay for awhile....especially if I have someone to hang on to.*I have strong reactions to smell, taste, weather, light, movement.......
* I feel drained after social situations even when I really enjoyed them.
* I prefer to be introduced instead of introducing (one of my rude behaviors.....I will almost never introduce.)
* I am grouchy in anticipation of a social event, even ones I want to attend. It drives my family......Superman, crazy.
* I like people in my home but am overwhelmed by numbers and extensive time.
* I HATE making telephone calls.......still do it, getting better, still HATE it.
* I will not show my work or ideas until fully formulated much of the time. Uber perfectionism is a huge downfall of mine.......and I expect the same thing from others.......bad, bad, bad.
I have really enjoyed the book though. I wasn't surprised about what I learned.......I was surprised other people felt the same way. So do yourself if you are introvert, or someone else who is, a favor.....read it! If I were an extrovert parent with an introvert child I would definitely read this before another day passed........you'll be doing them a great service if you understand they can't be like you and they are not unhappy because of their introversion.
Awesome innies.......Einstein, Lincoln, Julia Roberts, Hitchcock, Edison, Piglet.
Are you an innie or an outie?
Rating 5 Super enlightening! Fun to find out the truth.
Rating G
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