My Horizontal Life

My Horizontal Life by Chelsea Handler

I'm pretty sure that this is one of those things you shouldn't admit to liking.  I thought it was a book I could keep under wraps and no one would be the wiser.  Then my hubby found it.........and read it before I could. 

Chelsea Handler has no shame when it comes to laying out what she can recall of her wild sex life.  The antecdotes were funny and somewhat surprising what she wasn't willing to do. 
The read, like many loose girls was cheap and easy.  The language was foul.  The alcohol was flowing.  How she didn't spot the gay guy I attribute to Ecstacy blindness.  I feel like I should soon take an oath to get back on the wagon of cleaner entertainment......right after I read Chelsea, Chelsea, Bang! Bang!

Rating 2.5  I can't rate it higher than 'Vodka' which was a better book.  Still docking points for the blatant vulagrity and obvious alcohol and drug abuse......there can be too much of a good thing.
Rating R  Sex, language, drugs, alcohol.

Are You There, Vodka? It's Me Chelsea

Are You There, Vodka?  It's Me Chelsea

I shudder to admit that I read this.  But it was still funny.  Chelsea Handler of Chelsea Lately, a stand up comedian and unacknowledged alcoholic busts out short stories in this memoir.  As you may know, I am not a fan of many a memoir.  Ruined by 'Running With Scissors', I don't need to know the sick details of your putrid up bringing.  She keeps the family parts pretty upbeat though.  No molestation or reading your own fecal matter like tea leaves.
I am struggling between giving this book a 1 and an X rating for her obscene amounts of consumed alcohol, Ecstasy, and men.........and possibly a 3 and an R because I laughed pretty hard at parts.  She and her father together are a crack up.  Her dad reminds me of the dad on King of Queens. 
This book is light reading and pretty funny but beware.......so, so foul which is not a surprise if you have ever heard of Chelsea Handler.

Rating 2.5  I did laugh, but her explicit language and extreme substance abuse, whether real or beefed up....got a little tiring.  At some point it stops being funny.
Rating R   Lots of sex, lots of language, lots of drugs and drinking. 

Recovering Charles

Recovering Charles by Jason F. Wright

Wright is the author of 'Christmas Jars' and 'Wednesday Letters'.   In 'Recovering Charles' Wright's main character, Luke Millward is a lost soul.  He is a successful photographer that has little personal connection to anyone except his friend Jordan.  Jordan and Luke met in college and have remained close, though Luke cannot bring himself to make Jordan his wife.
Hurricane Katrina hits the lower South.  Luke discovers that his estranged, alcoholic father was lost in the fray.  Luke has never come to terms with his father's desperate dive into alcholism.  As a teen, Luke's mother died of a drug overdose.  His father has never been able to reconcile himself and turned quickly to the soft sholder of alcohol.  Charles (Charlie, Luke's father.) stopped contacting Luke at his request.  He became a nomad, traveling for cards, liquor and his deep love of music.  Charlie found his life again, in New Orleans playing jazz and getting clean.
Luke takes his time making the trek from New York to the hard hit South.  He finds way more than he thought he would.  Initially he agrees to go as a photographer.  Through the eye of his lense he sees a nation ravaged by nature but saved by the amazing heart of humanity.
The story as a whole was meaty enough to enjoy.  I was crushed by the aftermath of Katrina.  The characters were very loveable.......except for Luke.  I could never understand exactly when his heart turned from disgust with his father to love and regret.  Luke was a mystery and not very well written as a main character.  The end was rushed and left me to wonder what happened:(

Rating 3.5  There were salvageable parts; Katrina, the characters, Charlie's struggle through alcoholism and twelve step recovery.
Rating PG  Lots of death and destruction.

This Perfect Day

This Perfect Day by Ira Levin

     "Christ, Marx, Wood, and Wei
       Led us to this perfect day."

In the spirit of George Orwell's 1984, 'This Perfect Day' gives us a glimpse of life in the future.  There are human outposts on other planets.  The cities of Earth are filled with parks, scanners, government appointed jobs and families, and bracelet wearing, drug numbed Members.

Everything is run by Uni....the unified government made up of a gigantic computer compound.  Uni dictates your schooling, job, living arrangements, names (they've whittled it down to 4 for each sex) attached to numbers (namebers), the sex life of the Members, and freedom of movement throughout the continents.  Big Brother is present in this instance........because the members are drugged monthly, or more often, with drugs that make them 'healthy'.  The drugs cause the Members to rat each other out, be satisfied with once a week sex (which they call f ing), never question Uni, and lead productive lives void of feeling, and then kills them at the age of 62.

Chip begins to 'question' Uni when his grandfather draws attention to the fact that Uni 'appears' to be one thing, but in reality is something much more cold and sinister.  It takes Chip years to even get near breaking away, or having an 'awakening' because every Member is plugged full of drugs that won't let them question the authority of Uni.  And even if they did, all of the other Members would turn them in for being 'sick'.

After many years and life altering set backs, Chip feels that he has successfully escaped the life Uni had planned for him. In a creepy turn of events, he finds that all he has worked for, may in fact be just what Uni wanted him to do.

Fantastic read!  This is one of my favorite genres.  I enjoyed Levin's take on future government control.  By the end it was feeling fragmented, which may have come from Chips break with being sedated....but it didn't seem to flow as well.
Rating 4.5
Rating R Sex, crude language.

Crank

Crank by Ellen Hopkins

Hopkins writes the whole book in forms of poetry.  I had only heard that the book was a best seller, but nothing else.  When I first began to read I thought the poetry was only part of the opener.  It looked genius!  Then I turned the pages and found that every single one of them had more poetry...........I became skeptical and somewhat put out.  I thought the prose would impede my reading.  It took until about page 20 (which I made it to very quickly) to really get into the rythm.  Thereafter I was hooked.

Kristina goes to meet her estranged father over summer break from high school.  Up to this point she has been an A student.  Kristina has had no boyfriends or even been kissed.  By the time she returns to her mother and siblings three weeks later, Kristina is calling herself Bree, is hooked on meth, and well on her way to lots of sex on speed.

The intensity of the writing made me feel like I was an addict.  It was very powerful.  Kristina's spiral happened so fast that it was unbelievable.......well believable........but crazy.

Rating 4.5  Did I love it??? NO!!!! Was it an eye opener?? YES!!  I hope the Monster never touches my life.
Rating R Rape, sex, drug abuse, addiction, alcohol, teen pregnancy, abortion.

Crashed

Crashed (Skinned trilogy #2) by Robin Wasserman

In the follow up to Skinned, Lia Kahn has left the home of her former family and is living in a compound/mansion with other mechs. Rights of the mechs' are in question as the Brotherhood become more vocal about how dangerous this new breed of people may be. When Lia's former friend Auden begins speaking out for the Brotherhood against the mechs, Lia is devastated.

Even though she has had no contact with her family in months, when things get tough, they pull through for her.

While living in the compound and trying to figure out or forget what she has become, Lia finally lets someone get close to her. She gets to know Riley.

Although I love the 'idea' of these books, I felt like this one was pretty flat. It took about three hundred pages to feel like I had finally reached the heart of the book. Before that there was too much emotional turmoil........you know the kind.........where you just keep rehashing something you can't seem to get over.

I was glad to see Lia finally have a friend. She felt much more angry in this book and I wasn't going for it.

I did however like learning more about the society after the big wars, and how the caste system had placed people in cities, corp-towns or rich suburbs.

Rating 2.5 I did like the book. It just took a lot of time to cover little ground.

Rating R For language, sex, some homosexuality, drug use (even though it was more like a download, you still understood that it was drug use).

Fahrenheit 451

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Fahrenheit 451, the temperature books burn at. This is a futuristic book by Bradbury in 1950. The future held drug abuse, big screen T.V., war, the desire for happiness through entertainment and lack of choice, looking down on those with differing views. I think he was eerily correct.

Guy Montag is a fireman in 1990. Firemen in 1990 burn. They respond to alarms telling them of homes that contain books. When they arrive they spray on the kerosene and torch the place, people included if they do not leave the premises.

One night on his way home from the station, Montag meets his strange teen neighbor, Clarisse. Instead of listening to the little seashell in her ear and watching the walls (television takes up a whole wall and you can make every wall in a room a television), she likes to think, walk, and talk about things. Very strange and frowned upon. People are highly entertained by nothing and live without much of a choice because that decreases their anxiety. Clarisse grows on Montag and he begins to think about the things she says. He realizes that he isn't happy and my not be in love with his wife.

Arriving home from work, Montag finds his wife has overdosed on her crystals. He calls emergency and two men come, pump out her stomach and give her new blood. Good as new. This is such a common occurrence these days that a doctor doesn't even attend an overdose, just these plumber like men.

One night Montag responds to an alarm where an older woman refuses to leave her books. The firemen prepare to set her and her house ablaze. She sets herself on fire first. Montag begins to wonder what is so great about books that you would die for them. He grabs one, conceals it and takes it home.

Montag can't find Clarisse. He is told that she is dead and her family has moved on. He begins to realize how unhappy he is. He asks his wife if she can remember where they met. She has no recollection. He tells her she overdosed and she refuses to believe him. Finally in an attempt to break free of the discord with his wife and life, Montag shows Mildred (his wife) the book. He has saved The Bible from the flames.

Montag remembers an old man he met in a park once that might understand what he is going through. He seeks out Faber. The old man claims to be a weakling. He tells Montag that he didn't agree with the way the world was headed but that he did nothing to stop it. He tells Montag that he would like to help him now. He gives Montag the green bullet. An ear piece that he has invented which lets them communicate with each other.

Montag is sick. He is fevering with his disdain for life and its insanity. His chief comes for a visit and tells him that it happens to everyone. He also tells him that if a fireman were to take a book, he would have twenty four hours to look at it and then burn it himself. If he doesn't burn it, then the chief will come and burn it for him. Mildred freaks out. The chief sends the mechanical Hound to sniff out the house. The Hound hates Montag. If it catches him it will shoot him full of poison. It can smell the other books Montag has hidden in a heating vent.

Mildred's friends show up to watch the walls and drink. Montag wants to do something wild. He shows them a book and begins reading the poetry to them. They freak out. Faber tries to tell him to stop. Montag accuses them of the horrible things they have done with their worthless lives. They run out.

Montag returns to work. The chief gets very intense with him. They are called to an alarm. It is at Montag's house. Millie's friends have turned him in. Millie runs from the house and leaves Montag. Montag is forced to burn his own home. Then the chief tells him he is under arrest. The chief finds the green bullet. Montag turns his flame thrower on the chief and the two other firemen with him. He burns them. The Hound arrives and attacks Montag. Its poisonous needle shoots him in the leg. Montag burns the Hound. He takes off with his leg in pain. He returns to Faber. Faber tells him he will try to reach a printer that can copy The Bible. He gives Montag some of his clothing to cover up Montag's personal smell. A new Hound is after him and the Hound never fails.

Montag is chased by the police, the Hound, and the media. Everyone is told to open their doors and look for him. Montag escapes to the river. He puts on Faber's clothing. He floats downstream. Finally he comes to a camp along the railroad with other people that have left society. They all have books that they 'remember' in their minds. They hope that when society begins to change that they will be able to retell these books and bring them back to life. As the men let Montag into their midst, jets fly over. A new war has begun. The city Montag has just left is blown sky high. Montag can see the future changing.

Rating 4.5 Ray Bradbury did a great job of predicting future events!

Rating PG 13 Violence, murder, abortion as birth control, drug use

A Clockwork Orange

A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

In this edition of A Clockwork Orange, the last chapter is added, which was original to the British book, but taken out of the America version.

The language in this book is a mix of Russian, English and invented slang.

Alex is a teen (Nadsat ......or Russian numbers 11-19) hoodlum with a gang of other boys. Society is over run by the likes of these boys. They spend time in bars, getting high, street fighting and committing heinous crimes against society. Alex likes to shoot up and then listen to classical music. He hallucinates and gets all worked up.

Alex is the leader of his small gang. He at times feels threatened by the other members and beats them up.

The boys beat up an old man coming from the library. They go out into the country and break into a house. They knock around the husband and tear up the book he is writing (A Clockwork Orange) and rape his wife. The final act that puts Alex in prison; the boys go to an older, wealthy part of town where they plan a break in. They want to steal goods from the home. They are unable to gain access through the front door so Alex climbs into an upper story window. By now the old person living there has called the police. Alex comes downstairs and eventually knocks the elderly in the head with a statue. She later dies, solidifying Alex's time in prison. As the police arrive, Alex's buddies chain him up and leave him because he beat them up earlier.

Alex spends two years in prison. (He is committed to a fourteen year term.) He plays the music on a stereo in the prison chapel. He is housed with many other men in one cell. Finally he beats up one man for laying on the same bed. The man dies and the government decides they must do something about the over crowding. They use Alex as a guinea pig in their new treatment.

Alex is taken to some new buildings on the prison grounds. They tell him he will be cured of doing evil and returned to society within two weeks. He gets very excited. He is shown to a nice room that he doesn't have to share. He is given good food and what the doctors tell him are vitamin shots because he is malnourished. Then he is taken to watch movies. He is strapped to a chair and his eyelids are held open. Alex is made to watch graphic violence with classical music. The 'vitamin' shots make him ill. He is conditioned by the government to become ill at the mere thought of violence. When he is able to become ill without the medication and only violence, he is returned to society.

Alex goes home and finds his parent's have rented out his room to someone else. He wanders the streets, goes to a bar, gets high. When he comes down from the high he is suicidal. He can't even think of ending his own life without becoming sick from the violent images in his head. He decides to go to the library and find out a way to kill himself without violence. At the library he runs into the old man that he and his friends beat up on the streets years ago. The old man attacks him along with the other old men in the library. The police come. Alex sees that one of his old gang and one of his enemies have become policemen. They take him out to the county and beat the tar out of him and leave him there. Alex wanders until he just happens upon the house where he and his friends beat the husband and raped the wife. He stumbles to the door and is taken in by the man. The man recognizes Alex from the newspaper article about the government's experiment. He gives Alex food and a place to sleep. He does not realize Alex is the person that broke into his home over two years ago. Alex and his friends would wear masks when committing some of their crimes. The man also named Alexander tells Alex that he will call some of his friends and they will use him as an example that the government has gone too far in taking the will of a person away. The friends come and take Alex to an apartment where they lock him in. By now, because of some of the things Alex has said, Alexander has identified him as one of the people that raped his wife which lead to her death. Alex falls asleep on the bed and wakes to some of his favorite music playing in the next apartment. Unfortunately for Alex he is now conditioned to become violently ill at the sound of this music because it was used during the graphic scenes he was forced to watch. He cannot escape the sound and gets sicker and sicker. Finally he throws himself from the window. The fall is not enough to kill him. He ends up in the hospital.

The government sees that they have gone too far with their experiment and 'cure' Alex, or return him to his former state. His parents come and tell him he may come home. He goes back to his old life and forms a new gang.

The final chapter, formerly left out of the American version; Alex is out with his new gang and begins to feel depressed. They want to go out and cause harm and chaos but Alex doesn't feel like it. The other boys go about their business and Alex goes out for some tea and milk. He sees Pete a member of his old band of friends. Pete only nineteen but newly married to a lovely girl. Alex and Pete talk for a minute. Pete and his wife leave to go to a party. Alex begins to realize that he is not depressed, at the ripe old age of eighteen he is just maturing out of his violent stage. Now he thinks he should begin looking for a wife so they can have a baby.

I loved this book. At first the language threw me off, but you figure it out quickly. (There is a Nadsat Glossary if your book doesn't contain one.) The violence is terrible but strikes a chord. I liked the controversy that it put forth about how far to go to 'cure' society of its many ills. I truly thought about this because of the socialism that is ever creeping nearer under the guise of 'government help'. Honestly, even though I know it is wrong to take someones will away........I was really glad that they did it to Alex. He was a beast.

The book became a little far fetched for me towards the end. The fact that Alex just happens to show up at the same location he committed a crime years ago and the victim and he form some kind of relationship....felt a little contrived. Also the fact that he was repaid with violence by just about everyone he crossed was a bit over the top. And finally his turn towards good by growing out of violence? In some sense most people mature and grow out of some of their youthful mistakes but I'm not sure about growing out of violence to the degree.

Rating 5 I totally recommend this book, BUT...........

Rating R violence, rape, language, drug use, murder.

So Much of Life Ahead

So Much of Life Ahead Hearts of the Children Vol. 5 by Dean Hughes

Hans and Elli are engaged. Then the Stasi demote him after Rainer is imprisoned and tells the lies about Hans that they want to hear. Hans feels like he can't ruin Elli's life by keeping her hanging on waiting for him. He also doesn't want to marry her because he won't be able to provide for her. He is the counselor in his branch presidency. But his faith is tested as everything he has hoped for is ripped away. His father comes to him and tries to talk him into having more faith and moving ahead but Hans feels like he has no hope. Finally in a last attempt to break him, the Stasi call him in and threaten him. Hans fears he will be taken back to prison. He can't stand it any longer and tells them exactly what he thinks of the way things are being run in the country. He waits and waits to be taken back to prison, but instead is promoted. He and Elli can finally marry. They do. His faith is restored and he realizes that he should have listened to Elli all of the times she told him that they needed to go forward in faith and that doors would be opened to them. By the end Elli is pregnant and a counselor in the Relief Society. I would have liked to find out what happened to them in the years later when a temple was built in East Germany........even before the Berlin Wall fell.

Gene is not the same Gene as before Vietnam. He is no longer self confident, upbeat and kind. Danny is afraid of him and although Emily loves him she is having a hard time living with him. He has finally gotten off of the pain killers but he is angry and depressed. He begins writing articles about Vietnam and then current politics which are picked up by magazines and newspapers. He decides to return to college for a degree in journalism. He reports on the Watergate proceedings. Finally Emily can take no more of his anger and bottled up emotion. She and Danny leave. Gene's father Alex and his uncles Wally and Richard try to get Gene to talk about his fear, anger and nightmares. They know this is the only way for him to heal. He refuses. Someone takes offense to an article written by Gene. When the man confronts him Gene goes crazy and tries to kill him. Gene is put in the VA hospital psyche ward. Emily comes to be supportive. She wants him to get better. She finally tells Gene that she is seven months pregnant. Gene wants to get better and begins therapy. By the end he and Emily have their second child and Gene is doing better. I didn't get the feeling that he had completely recovered though.

Kathy is inspired by her Aunt LaRue coming home from the east and marrying a BYU professor and getting pregnant. She finally begins dating but can't stand anyone she goes out with. At long last she throws herself at her old high school boyfriend, Marshall, hoping to convince him she has changed. Marshall has some things of his own to figure out and Kathy thinks things between them will never work out. They eventually get together, marry and buy an old house in Heber. They decide the best way to change the world is to become involved in their community and the lives of their children.

Diane finally tells Greg she cannot ever see them together again. Greg's reaction only reinforces that decision. Diane finishes college and becomes a teacher. Her home teacher is in love with her and they begin spending a lot of time together. Finally she must tell him that she is not in love with him. She raises Jenny alone.

The patriarch of the family, Grandpa Thomas dies.

I didn't like this book as well as some of the previous ones. Maybe because I really want happy endings and all of the loose ends to be tied up.........which never happens in real life........but I like it in my literature.

Rating 4
Rating PG

Winds of Hope

Winds of Hope by Anita Stansfield

This is the third book in the Jayson Wolfe series. The book opens with Jayson having just committed himself to drug rehab for the prescription med abuse. He became addicted after an injury to his hand left him in pain and unable to play the piano or guitar. He has been staying with his old love Elizabeth and her father Will after Elizabeth feels prompted to call Jayson one night. He is just about to take his own life.
Rehab is a struggle but Jayson learns that his addiction stems from the pain of many years of loss being stuffed into a 'box'. First he was able to dull the pain with his music. After suffering that loss he overcompensated with prescription meds. As Jayson pulls out the pain from his 'box' and faces it he is able to recover. The 'box' was made when Elizabeth left him. He has since put in the 'box'; the death of his band members, his cheating wife and their divorce, his runaway daughter Macy, the death of his mother, his brother Drew having to join another band when their band......Gray Wolf ended, the death of his alcoholic and abusive father that he had no association with for years, the loss of his band, the loss of the use of his hand. He also lost his best friend Derek (Elizabeth's brother) during high school, to a freak car accident. But he dealt with that loss enough that it didn't end up in the box.
While Jayson is in rehab, Elizabeth gets a call on Jayson's cell phone, which she is in charge of, from Macy. Macy is in California, seventeen and pregnant by an abusive boyfriend. She wants to come home but doesn't know where Jayson is. Elizabeth flies out and brings her back to Utah. Jayson is released from a successful rehab and finds his greatest desire.......having Macy home, has come true. As Jayson prayed for the return of Macy, he promised his life to Jesus Christ. He has always believed in Christ but has no use for organized religion.
Things settle down as Jayson and Macy decide to stay with Elizabeth until Macy can birth her baby and return to school in order to graduate. Macy has her baby right after Christmas. She decides to give it up for adoption because she knows she can't take care of it. Jayson is not happy at first because he has always wanted more children. He sees the wisdom in Macy's decision and supports her.
Macy begins high school. She also begins attending Young Women activities after a kind advisor seeks her out and engages her. Macy meets Aaron and they begin dating as Aaron prepares for a mission. Macy investigates the LDS church as she helps Aaron with his preparation. She does not admit this to her father. She fears his reaction because she knows he does not believe in religion. Macy decides to be baptized but not to wait for Aaron.
Jayson meanwhile begins reading the Book of Mormon after Elizabeth's son Trevin gives him one. Jayson keeps this from Elizabeth. He still loves her and wants to marry her but he doesn't want her to think that he is embracing her religion just to placate her. Jayson reads and studies for quite some time, also talking to other members in order to learn all that he can. He decides to be baptized.
Elizabeth is still in love with Jayson. She hopes someday she will marry him. She does however wonder if his refusal to have anything to do with the religion that is such a part of her, will come between them. Her father Will points out Jayson's many good qualities and the fact that they have belonged together for years. Elizabeth still prays for an eternal companion since her dead husband Robert never had anything to do with the LDS church. Elizabeth decides she wants to be with Jayson and she thinks he may come around. She plans to ask him out on a date and make it obvious she is ready to have a romantic relationship with him again. During this time of contemplation for she and Jayson, Elizbeth becomes violently ill. She is rushed to the hospital as she hemorrhages. The doctor wants to do an emergency hysterectomy. Elizabeth asks for a blessing from her bishop. She has felt since the death of her husband and child that she will still have other children. The blessing confirms this. Her body is commanded to heal. The bleeding stops. A benign tumor is removed from her uterus. She and Jayson both hope the children she was promised in the blessing will be theirs.
Jayson and Elizabeth come to each other at the same time to unload their new desires. Jayson schedules his baptism for the 20th anniversary of Derek's death to celebrate the way his life is changing. It doesn't take more than a little dating and some serious thought before they decide to get married. Elizabeth tells Jayson she feels great guilt over leaving him when they were young. She comes clean with the fact that she never stopped loving him even when she left him, she was just scared. She also reveals that she had planned to ask him to come back when she found out that he was married. They both lament the loss of years together and wonder how their lives would have been if they had been married all along. Then they realize that they are grateful for the struggles and events in their lives and even though they wish that they had married in their youth, they know the paths that their lives did take were the right ones despite all of the heartache.
Jayson and Elizabeth marry before Jayson is baptized. His baptism comes and goes. He decides to begin making another album. He has gradually regained the use of his hand and since his conversion and marriage he has had a burst of creativity. Jayson writes all new songs. He calls Drew to see if he will help record. Drew and his new wife Valerie come to live with Jayson and Elizabeth while the new album is created. Elizabeth and Valerie are pregnant. Will has found a wife and has married and moved not far away.
Jayson talks Elizabeth into singing with him on the album. She has some misgivings because she doesn't want to tour with him. She wants to stay home with their children. She prays about it and feels like the right thing to do would be to sing on the album.
The new songs are a hit. The family goes on tour.......including new baby Derek. Life is great.
Elizabeth gets a new church calling in genealogy. She feels inspired to find out if Jayson has any living relatives. He does.......his estranged father's mother and sister. They meet. Jayson feels complete. He and Elizabeth have another baby.
Aaron returns from his mission. He and Macy marry. Happy, happy, happy.
This series is supposed to have one more book. I can't imagine what it could be about. After all of this happiness, I hope it isn't all marred by tragedy!
I had a good time with this book. Stansfield really came around this time and did a great job. She didn't pull the old.........lets mull over our memories and psychological pain until no one understands what is even happening. The characters dealt quickly and thoroughly with any issue they had. I was glad to have Elizabeth and Jayson finally get together after all of the years they wanted to be.
Rating 5
Rating PG totally clean but dealing with drug addiction, teen pregnancy, date rape........this isn't for your eight year old.